La Bella Vita

The cold breeze runs down my back as the warmth from my sweat quickly fades into small crystals upon my skin. The salt has found a momentary crevice in which to instill. It finds a solace here. Its safety is so simple. Its need for escape is found when limits are reached and boundaries are pushed. It releases itself at just the right moment in order to give the body its essential form of relief. And its from this I find myself wondering why natures' simplicity is so routine and methodical. I ask myself why these motions are so complete on a regular basis. It sets a perfect example for how I should be living my life. Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. These are the only four books of the Bible that Jesus teaches in. In a book so large, I often wonder why he doesn't do more talking. Why are these four gospels the only ones to give his message in direct, verbal form? Could it be because this is all we need? God only gives us just enough to believe and have proper, suitable faith....

Maybe we think we need people, when really all we need is God. Maybe people are there for just the moments when it feels like God is far away, just to remind us that He is right where we left him. Maybe we are meant to be unsure by others' teachings, so we fervently pursue our own. Maybe we are meant to question mankind, so God's divinity is seen in perfect light. Maybe we are meant to feel desolate at times, so that we can feel God richly filling up every empty space. Maybe I'm meant to be afraid sometimes, so I can feel God calming my storm.

Sometimes you have to let go, to live.

I'm currently digging. I haven't done much digging in my life, as it hasn't been an essential to my survival, but I recently discovered its importance. I also discovered its solitude. It's hard to ask someone to help you dig with a shovel. A shovel is designed for one person, and one person only. Someone can tell you where to dig and where to throw the dirt, but only one person can ever really dig. You can ask others to help you dig with their shovels, and together achieve the desired goal. You can ask others where the best digging places are, but its not until you pick up the shovel and start piercing the ground, that you discover the digging process for yourself. The shovel is heavy, and often the dirty isn't easy to move. It takes a long time to get to where you are going, and exhaustion and other limiting human realities often take heed to the taxing activity. It's likely that you feel as if you will never reach what you are digging for, and it's like...

I'm lonely. It's taking every ounce of me to publicly display this, as I am not sure who actually reads my blog anyway, but this is the feeling I am experiencing. One may ask, how can I be lonely? I live in a dorm full of girls, on a campus full of people my age, and in a country full of hospitable friends who welcome me with open arms. But amongst all of this, I am still lonely. I'm not sure there are many funerals in life where the words 'this was too soon,' aren't exchanged. It seems that whenever a death is experienced, the time with them on earth was just too short. But what if it wasn't? What if their time was just the right amount? What if the dates we are each given provide just enough time to do exactly what God has wanted us to do? No death will ever be in good time. There is no good time to accept the fact that someone is out of your life forever. But this thought can be applied to your life in all aspects. Is there ever really a good time t...

Stop searching. Start doing. These last few months have been of a different breed. Even reflecting back on each of the days that fell into this sequence of time, I still don't know quite what God was trying to tell me. I spent time meeting new people, exploring new places, and breathing in deeper each of my surroundings. Here I was again, attempting to exert myself beyond the superficial aspects of life. As a methodical and organized thinker, I was in search of this reason for why God was bringing me to a new place. Why am I less satisfied with the stagnant life of growing and pursuing Him in one specific place? Why must I constantly be on the verge of traveling somewhere new? Surely it can't just be my 'personality.' There must be something more than that... I can tell you what everyone else tells me. They all say, "she got bit by the travel bug." And as sarcasm flows off their tongues I simply think to myself that it's much more than that. There ...