Introvert.
I am an introvert. Actually, according to Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory I am an INFJ. I realized today you can discover a lot about yourself by taking this personality test. Not only can it benefit you in discovering yourself, but it can help you work out your social habits as well.
Why am I the girl who would rather stay home and study on a Saturday night then go out to a movie with 10 of my friends? Why would I rather run 5 miles then have a 'girls night' with 5 girls I just met? I'm an introvert. I can't help it. I enjoy solitude. I enjoy peace. I enjoy thinking things through. I enjoy myself.
I been finding recently that the trust I find in others grows slimmer everyday. I see the ulterior motives amongst people and it pulls me back even more. I see my friends do it to other people, I can feel it happening to me. Sometimes, on rare occasion, I invest myself deeply in someone just to find that shortly after which, I'm trying to piece myself back together. Bad move.
A good friend once asked me if I was 'emotionally pure.' I immediately thought that I was. How could I not be? I'm an introvert, slow to trust, easing myself into relationships. But as I gathered my thoughts, I soon realized that I was not. I invest myself in people. That is my first mistake. I need to invest myself in God. In all reality, he is the one who we can trust in the end.
I've opened the Bible once since my last post. Tonight. It was good. It was real. I haven't felt anything 'real' in a long time. It reminded me that although I trust no one else, he is still there. I heard a song and it stated 'break my heart for what breaks yours, give me open hands and open doors.' The first portion I have heard before, but not the second. Maybe all I need is open hands of guidance, rather than an emotional investment in every person that surrounds me.
Either way, if any investment is to be made, one that is in God needs to be my initial focus. The others can fall into place I suppose. Maybe they never will. Because of this, I pray that as an introvert I find hope in knowing He is the only one.
This could all be wrong... but my thoughts, they are pure.
Why am I the girl who would rather stay home and study on a Saturday night then go out to a movie with 10 of my friends? Why would I rather run 5 miles then have a 'girls night' with 5 girls I just met? I'm an introvert. I can't help it. I enjoy solitude. I enjoy peace. I enjoy thinking things through. I enjoy myself.
I been finding recently that the trust I find in others grows slimmer everyday. I see the ulterior motives amongst people and it pulls me back even more. I see my friends do it to other people, I can feel it happening to me. Sometimes, on rare occasion, I invest myself deeply in someone just to find that shortly after which, I'm trying to piece myself back together. Bad move.
A good friend once asked me if I was 'emotionally pure.' I immediately thought that I was. How could I not be? I'm an introvert, slow to trust, easing myself into relationships. But as I gathered my thoughts, I soon realized that I was not. I invest myself in people. That is my first mistake. I need to invest myself in God. In all reality, he is the one who we can trust in the end.
I've opened the Bible once since my last post. Tonight. It was good. It was real. I haven't felt anything 'real' in a long time. It reminded me that although I trust no one else, he is still there. I heard a song and it stated 'break my heart for what breaks yours, give me open hands and open doors.' The first portion I have heard before, but not the second. Maybe all I need is open hands of guidance, rather than an emotional investment in every person that surrounds me.
Either way, if any investment is to be made, one that is in God needs to be my initial focus. The others can fall into place I suppose. Maybe they never will. Because of this, I pray that as an introvert I find hope in knowing He is the only one.
This could all be wrong... but my thoughts, they are pure.
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