2015 - here goes.
2015.
Today marks a new day, a new year, a new moment in time. But I must be getting old, because I asked myself last night as I curled up by the fire, "isn't every day a new day, a new year, a new moment?"
I find myself falling into the socially acceptable norm, by making a list of new year's resolutions. Despite my stubborn tendency to view new years as overrated, I still proceeded to make a list. But not without first reflecting on 2014.
2014 marks a lot of things, but this year it marked mostly good-byes. Some were intentional, others were not. But each good-bye was flagged with some sort of emotion that has brought me to where I am today. I realised this year, that people are often not who you think they are. And amidst that there is a loss of trust, friendship and faith. I found that somewhere in my flooded list of friends, were people I was pushing harder to maintain relationships with, and the road was a one way street. I found that efforts were being placed in futile places, and as a result, true, genuine, heart-to-heart interactions were placed aside.
If someone described me as high maintenance, I would be mildly offended. You can tell me I'm often late, pedantic about exercise and eating healthy, or that I stress too easily over the minutest things. But to call me high maintenance would be a stab in the gut. I don't expect a daily phone call, a daily text, or even some sort of consistent affirmation from my friends. I just expect that the times that we do share are heart felt and real, without the standard sugar coating. I hate sugar. So don't bring it into our relationship.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is that this is a new year of genuine relationships. I don't have time, or more accurately, I don't want to make time, for surface level interactions. God is living and breathing in each of us, and it's such a powerful, beautiful thing to discover. We often sit and wonder where He is, or why we can't feel Him. But we lack the effort to engage in conversation about Him, with Him, and for Him.
We are in this world, but not of this world. And when I interact in this 'surface level friendship' sort of way, I feel like I'm failing myself of an opportunity to dig deeper, grow closer, and really hone in on another one of Gods creations.
I'm sharpening the blade, and preparing myself for a standard of friendship that is far from medial. And as God moves and lives in each of us this year, I encourage you to step outside of this too. As for me, I'm bowing out of this race of superficial formalities.
Now despite the negativity of the above statement, I did enjoy twenty-fourteen. Living again in the blessed country of Australia, living in Asia, and consistently throwing myself in the deep end in almost every endeavour. I found that it was okay to let go at some times, and to hold on at others. I found that despite what we want for our lives, sometimes that just isn't how it works. I found that truly living in the unknown (not boarding planes, and boarding others), and trusting when God says go - you go, or stay - you stay, that He has the best plan at heart.
I would never sell myself short on the opportunities to dream a list of dreams that most would deem far from achievable. But I do see the beauty in owning who you are, even if you're back at home, living with your Mum, and exercising at a free 50+ aged exercise class twice a week. These moments, despite their lack of extravagance, mark a moment of valour as you sit and wait for God to say what's next.
He always has an adventure up his sleeve. That's what I love about Him. That's part of Him that He placed in me.
That being said, my BIGGEST new year's resolution is that in the midst of this effort to step back and remove myself from today's norms, is to slow down. Breathe. Feel each breath as it circulates my lungs. Note each smile, embrace each tear, sing too loudly, move freely, taste every bite of food... Pull back, pop a squat, and live.
Today marks a new day, a new year, a new moment in time. But I must be getting old, because I asked myself last night as I curled up by the fire, "isn't every day a new day, a new year, a new moment?"
I find myself falling into the socially acceptable norm, by making a list of new year's resolutions. Despite my stubborn tendency to view new years as overrated, I still proceeded to make a list. But not without first reflecting on 2014.
2014 marks a lot of things, but this year it marked mostly good-byes. Some were intentional, others were not. But each good-bye was flagged with some sort of emotion that has brought me to where I am today. I realised this year, that people are often not who you think they are. And amidst that there is a loss of trust, friendship and faith. I found that somewhere in my flooded list of friends, were people I was pushing harder to maintain relationships with, and the road was a one way street. I found that efforts were being placed in futile places, and as a result, true, genuine, heart-to-heart interactions were placed aside.
If someone described me as high maintenance, I would be mildly offended. You can tell me I'm often late, pedantic about exercise and eating healthy, or that I stress too easily over the minutest things. But to call me high maintenance would be a stab in the gut. I don't expect a daily phone call, a daily text, or even some sort of consistent affirmation from my friends. I just expect that the times that we do share are heart felt and real, without the standard sugar coating. I hate sugar. So don't bring it into our relationship.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is that this is a new year of genuine relationships. I don't have time, or more accurately, I don't want to make time, for surface level interactions. God is living and breathing in each of us, and it's such a powerful, beautiful thing to discover. We often sit and wonder where He is, or why we can't feel Him. But we lack the effort to engage in conversation about Him, with Him, and for Him.
We are in this world, but not of this world. And when I interact in this 'surface level friendship' sort of way, I feel like I'm failing myself of an opportunity to dig deeper, grow closer, and really hone in on another one of Gods creations.
I'm sharpening the blade, and preparing myself for a standard of friendship that is far from medial. And as God moves and lives in each of us this year, I encourage you to step outside of this too. As for me, I'm bowing out of this race of superficial formalities.
Now despite the negativity of the above statement, I did enjoy twenty-fourteen. Living again in the blessed country of Australia, living in Asia, and consistently throwing myself in the deep end in almost every endeavour. I found that it was okay to let go at some times, and to hold on at others. I found that despite what we want for our lives, sometimes that just isn't how it works. I found that truly living in the unknown (not boarding planes, and boarding others), and trusting when God says go - you go, or stay - you stay, that He has the best plan at heart.
I would never sell myself short on the opportunities to dream a list of dreams that most would deem far from achievable. But I do see the beauty in owning who you are, even if you're back at home, living with your Mum, and exercising at a free 50+ aged exercise class twice a week. These moments, despite their lack of extravagance, mark a moment of valour as you sit and wait for God to say what's next.
He always has an adventure up his sleeve. That's what I love about Him. That's part of Him that He placed in me.
That being said, my BIGGEST new year's resolution is that in the midst of this effort to step back and remove myself from today's norms, is to slow down. Breathe. Feel each breath as it circulates my lungs. Note each smile, embrace each tear, sing too loudly, move freely, taste every bite of food... Pull back, pop a squat, and live.
Well said, He does always have an adventure up his sleeve. It's my favorite too.
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