going in and out of the headlights...
It was the rabbit fur earmuffs that muffled the voices of my friends as our conversation softly entered my warm protected ears. It was the knee length hounds-tooth jacket I wore that provided the most warmth while still remaining fashionable and appealing. It was the small silver dangling earrings I borrowed from Mum since it was New Year's Eve. It was the extra pair of fluffy pink socks I wore hidden inside my black boots, in case the night grew colder than expected. It was the extra few minutes I put into curling my blonde, sun-kissed hair as tonight was to be a night to remember.
The clock told that it was just after 9pm. The snow was falling at a rapid pace and was showing no mercy to anyone daring to challenge its power. Six inches of cold, white snow blanketed the roads as we pushed on through the somewhat hazardous conditions. The road that in summer showed lines of yellow and white clearly for cars to see, now showed nothing but a sheet of white leaving it up to the conscious driver to decide where their lane really was. The rapid falling of white snowflakes against the headlights of my car created an even bigger mess of blizzard for us to tunnel through. But at a slow speed, it all seemed fathomable.
I don't know how it happened. It all happened so quick. Yet in the very moment, it seemed like everything moved in slow motion. The slick spot on the side of the road grabbed my tires as if someone had taken both hands and held my neck up against the wall. It was so sudden and swift that I didn't know what to do. I held on tightly to the wheel, in hopes that slightly turning it would correct, but not over-correct what had just been done. But the snowy road held it's grip tightly around my neck and I could do nothing as I hung there in oblivion. I looked up and saw a set of headlights coming straight at us. But as quickly as the bright lights appeared, they disappeared amidst the sheet of white snow that stirred as we spun uncontrollably into the other lane. Suddenly I knew that this could be it. Was I going too fast? Should I not have tried to correct? We continued to spin and the road continued to show no mercy as we slid back off of our side of the road. Then, the innocent tree that I drove by daily became instantly became a threat as our car was headed for it at an unmanageable speed. It was then that I remember thinking, "I'm going to kill my friends."
It was a loud smash as our bonnet hit the tree, and a thud as we jutted to a halt in a field off the side of the road. As we stopped and I realised what had happened, my chest began to grow tight. I peered out my window and saw the mass of snow we were buried in, and the headlight of my car sitting a few metres away. I continued to look around and I could see pieces of my car scattered all over and I found my hands covering my mouth as I began to cry. Before I even had a chance to speak a soft hand touches my back from beside and says, "Britt, it's okay." My chest feels tight and air is hard to come by as I'm gasping for words amidst my ceaseless tears. Suddenly my trendy jacket and curly hair had no appeal. I had forgotten about the sparkly silver earrings dangling from my ears as my eyes blurred into a wet mess. The soft embrace from my friend sitting next to me was my only safety. And the gentle voices of my unharmed friends was the most beautiful sound to ever enter my ears. I could have killed them. I could have killed us.
The headlights coming and going. The dusty cloud of white that surrounded our car. The tree that showed every amount of mercy a tree can show. Amongst it all, was God. He was holding the wheel. He was guiding us to safety. His angels were flying next to us as we spun all over the road, keeping us from being harmed. And when sleep is hard to come by as these unforgiving images are cemented into my brain, I remember the saving grace of God that was present that night.
I guess I'm not done here yet.
I keep thinking to myself - what is my purpose? Who am I? God 'say something, I'm giving up on you.' But He did say something.
He said that He's not done with me yet.
The clock told that it was just after 9pm. The snow was falling at a rapid pace and was showing no mercy to anyone daring to challenge its power. Six inches of cold, white snow blanketed the roads as we pushed on through the somewhat hazardous conditions. The road that in summer showed lines of yellow and white clearly for cars to see, now showed nothing but a sheet of white leaving it up to the conscious driver to decide where their lane really was. The rapid falling of white snowflakes against the headlights of my car created an even bigger mess of blizzard for us to tunnel through. But at a slow speed, it all seemed fathomable.
I don't know how it happened. It all happened so quick. Yet in the very moment, it seemed like everything moved in slow motion. The slick spot on the side of the road grabbed my tires as if someone had taken both hands and held my neck up against the wall. It was so sudden and swift that I didn't know what to do. I held on tightly to the wheel, in hopes that slightly turning it would correct, but not over-correct what had just been done. But the snowy road held it's grip tightly around my neck and I could do nothing as I hung there in oblivion. I looked up and saw a set of headlights coming straight at us. But as quickly as the bright lights appeared, they disappeared amidst the sheet of white snow that stirred as we spun uncontrollably into the other lane. Suddenly I knew that this could be it. Was I going too fast? Should I not have tried to correct? We continued to spin and the road continued to show no mercy as we slid back off of our side of the road. Then, the innocent tree that I drove by daily became instantly became a threat as our car was headed for it at an unmanageable speed. It was then that I remember thinking, "I'm going to kill my friends."
It was a loud smash as our bonnet hit the tree, and a thud as we jutted to a halt in a field off the side of the road. As we stopped and I realised what had happened, my chest began to grow tight. I peered out my window and saw the mass of snow we were buried in, and the headlight of my car sitting a few metres away. I continued to look around and I could see pieces of my car scattered all over and I found my hands covering my mouth as I began to cry. Before I even had a chance to speak a soft hand touches my back from beside and says, "Britt, it's okay." My chest feels tight and air is hard to come by as I'm gasping for words amidst my ceaseless tears. Suddenly my trendy jacket and curly hair had no appeal. I had forgotten about the sparkly silver earrings dangling from my ears as my eyes blurred into a wet mess. The soft embrace from my friend sitting next to me was my only safety. And the gentle voices of my unharmed friends was the most beautiful sound to ever enter my ears. I could have killed them. I could have killed us.
The headlights coming and going. The dusty cloud of white that surrounded our car. The tree that showed every amount of mercy a tree can show. Amongst it all, was God. He was holding the wheel. He was guiding us to safety. His angels were flying next to us as we spun all over the road, keeping us from being harmed. And when sleep is hard to come by as these unforgiving images are cemented into my brain, I remember the saving grace of God that was present that night.
I guess I'm not done here yet.
I keep thinking to myself - what is my purpose? Who am I? God 'say something, I'm giving up on you.' But He did say something.
He said that He's not done with me yet.
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