La Bella Vita

www.brittany-lynn.com

You were standing there watching, but only you knew of this action. I dug deep into my bag in search for my key, but this time, it seemed to be hiding from me. It’s almost as if my key knew you would take a few extra moments to reach me, to speak to me, to ask me my name. You silently stood as I continued to dig for what seemed like a lifetime. Just as I felt my fingertips touch the metal grooves on the silver key, I heard your voice for the very first time. It was like a melody flowing gently into my ears and I turned my head slowly to see what it came from. The sound was gentle, and my ears accepted your tone with ease. And every sense was heightened as I began to gaze upon your figure… 

I’m sitting aboard a train, one that I wasn’t sure I’d even get on. The step onto the platform was small, my bags light, but the gap between the moving carriage and the ground where I stood seemed larger than ever. It’s wasn’t the train itself, nor the destination, but this crippling feeling I felt deep inside my bones. It was this feeling that life was passing by too fast and I wanted it to just stop. I wanted to stop, breathe and take in my surroundings for just a moment. But I stepped on. Before the train halted, I noticed a man. To my right stood a fellow of average height who saw me struggle with my large number of bags. He asked if he could help and before I could answer he was putting my things on the train. He now sits a few seats away, minding his own business and going about his day. But before he sat down, he asked if he could help me move my stuff off of the train. To this I agreed. I think I was meant to catch this train. In the corner si...

It's an ache in my chest. An unwelcome ache. I recognise it. But its familarity does not bring ease.

Have I put my Isaac on the altar?

It was a day just like any other. I woke up with this uncontainable energy as I usually do and I knowingly responded to my bodies' urge to move. I have a routine for running, and it's not often that I deviate from its consistent course. My body awakes on its own, early, just as the sun is opening its eyes to the world. As I peer through my open window on this hot, summer day, I quickly lift myself from my vertical position. No food, a small sip of water just to get the internals flowing, and I'm already undressed, searching for minimal amounts of clothing to put on. I only do this to be acceptable by the laws of nudity. As a result, I reach for my spandex, no underwear needed, a sports bra and a loose singlet. It's not long before my socks are on, my knee-brace in place, and my shoes tied. I always double knot my laces, I never want a reason to stop. Ever. I pin my hair back in a tight ponytail followed by a headband to secure every last strand of my long, dirty blond h...

I have a best friend. She has held my hand for my first break-up. She dried my tears when I watched my father pass away. She let me follow my dreams, wherever they led. She supported my goals. She listened to my thoughts as they unfolded, even if it was 3am. She let me follow God first. She also taught me how to follow my heart. She taught me how to relax and let life unfold. She showed me how to love life. She never judged me. She always gave me a second chance. She gave me confidence. She taught me how to be a woman. She said I made her proud. She told me I was beautiful. Today is 17 August 2012 (in America that is…). On 17 July I almost lost my best friend. I always thought she was invincible. I thought I was exempt from another loss since I had one already 6 years before. I thought that God would never take another hero away from me, at least not this young. And upon waking up on the other side of the world to a message I loathe...

Tonight I did something new. Tonight I met someone new. His faith could move mountains. His heart is big. He speaks in tongues. He loves the great book. I don't know what to say.

My name is Brittany Lynn. I have dirty blond hair and brown eyes. My right foot is size 7, my left foot is six 6.5. I usually wear 6.5. I'm 5'4 tall, 114 pounds, and my favorite colour is pink. I'm beginning to question that though because teal is such nice color too. I love photography, the beach, and wearing boots. I pick at my lips when I'm nervous and my knees shack when I'm really nervous. I love to run and feel physical pain. I hate losing. I don't really like shopping. I don't like dreaming, but only because I like doing. I'm over analytical. I think others think I'm weak because I think I'm weak. I expect too much out of others. I expect too much out of myself. I'm passionate, deep and intuitive. If I could be anything, I'd be a writer. I would write about everything that happens as I travel from place to place discovering the world. I would create a picture through my words for others to see in their own way. I would place so...

The cold breeze runs down my back as the warmth from my sweat quickly fades into small crystals upon my skin. The salt has found a momentary crevice in which to instill. It finds a solace here. Its safety is so simple. Its need for escape is found when limits are reached and boundaries are pushed. It releases itself at just the right moment in order to give the body its essential form of relief. And its from this I find myself wondering why natures' simplicity is so routine and methodical. I ask myself why these motions are so complete on a regular basis. It sets a perfect example for how I should be living my life. Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. These are the only four books of the Bible that Jesus teaches in. In a book so large, I often wonder why he doesn't do more talking. Why are these four gospels the only ones to give his message in direct, verbal form? Could it be because this is all we need? God only gives us just enough to believe and have proper, suitable faith....

Maybe we think we need people, when really all we need is God. Maybe people are there for just the moments when it feels like God is far away, just to remind us that He is right where we left him. Maybe we are meant to be unsure by others' teachings, so we fervently pursue our own. Maybe we are meant to question mankind, so God's divinity is seen in perfect light. Maybe we are meant to feel desolate at times, so that we can feel God richly filling up every empty space. Maybe I'm meant to be afraid sometimes, so I can feel God calming my storm.

Sometimes you have to let go, to live.

I'm currently digging. I haven't done much digging in my life, as it hasn't been an essential to my survival, but I recently discovered its importance. I also discovered its solitude. It's hard to ask someone to help you dig with a shovel. A shovel is designed for one person, and one person only. Someone can tell you where to dig and where to throw the dirt, but only one person can ever really dig. You can ask others to help you dig with their shovels, and together achieve the desired goal. You can ask others where the best digging places are, but its not until you pick up the shovel and start piercing the ground, that you discover the digging process for yourself. The shovel is heavy, and often the dirty isn't easy to move. It takes a long time to get to where you are going, and exhaustion and other limiting human realities often take heed to the taxing activity. It's likely that you feel as if you will never reach what you are digging for, and it's like...

I'm lonely. It's taking every ounce of me to publicly display this, as I am not sure who actually reads my blog anyway, but this is the feeling I am experiencing. One may ask, how can I be lonely? I live in a dorm full of girls, on a campus full of people my age, and in a country full of hospitable friends who welcome me with open arms. But amongst all of this, I am still lonely. I'm not sure there are many funerals in life where the words 'this was too soon,' aren't exchanged. It seems that whenever a death is experienced, the time with them on earth was just too short. But what if it wasn't? What if their time was just the right amount? What if the dates we are each given provide just enough time to do exactly what God has wanted us to do? No death will ever be in good time. There is no good time to accept the fact that someone is out of your life forever. But this thought can be applied to your life in all aspects. Is there ever really a good time t...

Stop searching. Start doing. These last few months have been of a different breed. Even reflecting back on each of the days that fell into this sequence of time, I still don't know quite what God was trying to tell me. I spent time meeting new people, exploring new places, and breathing in deeper each of my surroundings. Here I was again, attempting to exert myself beyond the superficial aspects of life. As a methodical and organized thinker, I was in search of this reason for why God was bringing me to a new place. Why am I less satisfied with the stagnant life of growing and pursuing Him in one specific place? Why must I constantly be on the verge of traveling somewhere new? Surely it can't just be my 'personality.' There must be something more than that... I can tell you what everyone else tells me. They all say, "she got bit by the travel bug." And as sarcasm flows off their tongues I simply think to myself that it's much more than that. There ...

Tomorrow is the day. I will wake up in America for the last time for a long time. I will go for a 3 mile run in a neighborhood that has been my home for 22 years. I will step out of a snowglobe and onto an island in another hemisphere where snow is seen by few. Here's to an adventure led by God himself. Here's to another year of life heading in a direction only He knew was coming. Here's to a life of living, breathing and basking in the awesomeness of the world God has provided. Hello again, Australia.